Weird dreams...

Okay - so I know that one of the biggest conversation killers starts with this line, "I had the weirdest dream last night..." and you sit there and try not to stifle a yawn while someone proceeds to tell you ALL about their aMAzing dream. And it isn't 'amazing' as you know - it didn't REALLY HAPPEN!!! And it happened in their head, while they were asleep...

But even so.... get ready people, cause I'm about to unload!

Now some of you - okay - all of the three people who read this blog - know of my slightly off-kilter obsession with Duran Duran. 'Obsession' might not be exactly the right word as it's not as though I even listen to their music now all that much - it's more of an obsession with re-capturing the obsession I had with them when I was 15.

So I saw them in concert in November 1983 (good grief) and then again, only 20 years later in December 2003 and then most recently in April. And it was great - every time it was great. Because every time, not only did I experience the concert, but also had some sort of loosely defined 'personal encounter' with them, in that, I saw them outside their hotel, outside the arena of them being a band on stage and more like them just being really famous people trying to get away from me. Although, and R. will back me up on this - the last two times - 2003 and 2008 - we totally did have personal encounters with Nick Rhodes (who was always my favourite even if he's the most effeminate and pretentious). And he was SO NICE!!! Like, 'take time to be with us' nice. Like 'I will make eye-contact with this person and actually respond to their frantic questions' nice. I LOVE the guy because he is one of the few (and I actually have met a few - see previous post) famous people who 'connected' with me. So the short of it is that I still have a deep affection for him that I don't think will ever dissipate in that he is decent to his fans and does not treat them like lepers (Si-MON!) and does not run away from them (Si-MON!).

Wow - that was one heck of a digression, even for me.

So back to the weird dream. Well - you three also know that I have the most amazingly vivid dreams with the most incredible attention to detail. I dream theatrically - and this is not a lie - I even once had a dream with credits... so last night I had this lovely dream where I got to hang out with Nick and Simon (who wasn't a butthead like usual) and it was totally lovely. Weird? Okay, maybe not so much. But just lovely. Lovely in the way that I am totally starting to convince myself that I actually have an alternate life in my dreams where I get to hang out with famous people ALL THE TIME. I dream about famous people ALL THE TIME. I hardly ever dream about my family - I've probably dreamed about Nick Rhodes more than I've dreamt of my own kids and I've definitely dreamed about Al Gore more than my own husband.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????

It means that I wake up with the HUGEST smile on my face as I get to be a groupie without any of the guilt. [Okay - I don't have sex with Nick cause he is pure and asexual but I totally would go there with Simon even if in real life he would not look at me.] It's fun and I love it. I get to have these great conversations with famous people I like and it's hilarious. In my dreams, I have kissed Bill Clinton (don't vomit, C. cause if he was as hot in your dreams as he was in mine, you totally would have too!), I've cuddled on a couch with Al Gore while discussing our kids, I sang "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" with Simon Le Bon just last week. One of the stranger celebrity dream encounters I've had was finding Jimmy Barnes in my closet (?). There are countless famous people in my dream states....

So it's fun to go to sleep when you're me. I never know who I'll meet in my head. I love my crazy-ass stupid dreams - MUCH better than those hideous ones where you find yourself at the airport having no idea where your luggage/family/passport is. Of course, if it's me, then most likely I'm travelling First Class with the band....

My new love (Liz Lemon) meets one one of my old loves (Al, Baby).

Dear GOD, I about DIED laughing watching this on my new latest favourite TV show, 30 Rock, and was so happy to find this clip on the NBC website so I could share it. Apparently NBC did have a 'green week' and I'm trying not to be too cynical about it as they are owned by GE, after all. But they are still allowed to make money as long as they make it ethically - now am I being too naive???

[So as I've met Al Gore, does this mean that I'm only two degrees of separation from my new idol, Liz Lemon aka Tina Fey??? Life just gets better every day]

Thanks for the mammaries....

So on 17 April 2008, after approximately 2032 days and nights (give or take the few nights I didn't nurse because S put the babies to bed), I finished nursing my children. A. had, of course, already finished a long time ago, but the other night my dear boy and I decided that 'yum-yum' time was over and that he would now be happy to go to bed after a cup of warm milk, a story and a cuddle.

And he is.

And I am not.

I'd be lying if I said that the night after the 17th, it didn't tear me up a little to see my boy drink his milk, kiss me goodnight and turn over and fall asleep.

I'd be lying if the times he has asked for it again - and he has asked a few times - when I reminded him of our 'deal', that I didn't want to renege and cuddle him close and watch him nurse one last time...

But I'm trying to be strong not for him - because he is not the weak one - but for myself, to keep the deal with myself that I would stop this when it became all about me and not about him. He is ready. I am not. I am learning for the first time, despite being a mother for almost seven years, what it is to mother in a different way. How to tell a story, rub a back, pat a tummy, put a child - my baby - to bed without the comfort of my breast and the warmth of the milk within.

I thank my kids for being willing and enthusiastic recipients of the love I wanted to give them. I thank my breasts for giving those kids all the 'good stuff' and making them strong and smart. I thank myself and honour myself for continuing despite the times of doubt and pain and inconvenience and frustration. I mourn the loss. I loved it almost always and I know I will miss it and miss this time of my time with my babies, my intimate mum-only time. Almost smug in being able to give them what nobody else could. Now I have to find new ways of giving them nourishment and goodness.

So as my breasts head for the floor, my mind is filled with tender and soft memories of quietness, warmth and love.

Thank you to them.

Thank you to me.

Gotta love those little things...

I am so proud of being part of a movement that is finally making moves to inclusion.

It's been a long, long wait...

The Bitch is BACK - again...

It's been so long, mi amigas...

So I thought I'd get back into the swing of the blog by revisiting The List of 2008 and seeing whether I have anything to add to it: original answers are in blue. New answers will be in, ooh, let's see...maybe this colour...

Questions for the New Year

1. In 2008 name one person that you will make the attempt to have a stronger relationship with? My husband. Is this really happening?? I'm trying to be nicer to him, I think we're closer - we're still separated by crazy schedules and kids pitting us one against the other [devious little boogers] but at least I've started to cook for him again...maybe three or four times, so far...
2. In 2008 what is one risk that you promise to take? Couldn't answer this one earlier and it still stumps me - I really am a risk-averse person. We are considering moving to the States - is that considered a risk? I really don't think it is as I don't feel we have that much to lose - except money - but when did that ever stop us?
3. In 2008 what is one aspect of your personality that you will be willing to change to make yourself more likeable? So many to choose from...hmmm...maybe my acid tongue - try to rein it in a little. And my crappy short temper. I have tried to be less crappy-tongued but the temper still needs work - I am trying to not scream at my kids as the first line of attack
4. In 2008, what is one daily ritual that you can commit to? Waking up every morning would be good. Waking up every morning excited would be better. It's amazing that I still can't think of one thing that I would be willing to do every day.
5. In 2008, what song could you choose to represent the year you are going to have and will you download that song after reading these words? [What is this - a plug for iTunes?] Not sure about a theme song - just went through all that in thinking about the past - can't think of one for the future. I am loving Rufus Wainwright and in saying that I suppose it's not embracing a particular song but knowing that I can still fall in love with music - that is representing my year. Can I still fall in love with life?
6. In 2008, who is one civil servant that you will say hello to for the entire year? None of my servants are civil in the least - you just can't get good help these days...not sure about this. The security guy at work comes around every day and I say hello to him, does that count? I'm actually very friendly to people behind counters, wait-staff, etc. so I don't think I have a problem with this - it's the higher-ups (as perceived by society - and me, I must admit) I have a problem with acknowledging. Maybe I should vow to say 'hello' to a rich person every day.
7. In 2008, what is one body of water that you promise yourself you will swim in? The Pacific. So maybe not the Pacific - not at least until we move to the States, but I DID swim in the Southern Ocean already this year, was not expecting that at the start of the year.
8. In 2008, name one person that you will truly thank who rarely gets thanked. I try to thank my Mum for all that she does for me. I don't know if I am thanking her 'truly' as I'm not sure what she wants from me most of the time. Maybe for me to clean my house, which is beyond me for some reason - fragments of passive-aggressive rebellion?
9. In 2008, what is an artistic experience that you promise to have? More experimental photography. I've taken some great photos this year and also vowed to learn to sew come April.
10. In 2008, what is one argument that you will no longer have? I wish I could say it would be the argument my mother and I have constantly over my house, but I don't believe that will ever end.
11. In 2008, what is one thing that you will do to give back to the world or community that you live in?
12. In 2008, what is one thing that you will learn? How to sew.
13. In 2008, what is one thing you will let go of knowing you don't have the power to change it?
14. In 2008, where will your quiet place be?
15. In 2008, name three people you will surprise with a random gift? Well crap - the only three worth giving a gift to are the three people who read this blog so that would hardly be a surprise now, would it???
16. In 2008, what is one thing that you will teach someone else?
17. In 2008, what is one fear that you will overcome?
18. In 2008, what is one food that you will eat more often? No doubt about it - I vow to try to eat more cake.
19. In 2008, what is something wonderful about your personality that you promise to consciously appreciate? I can be pretty funny now and again.
20. In 2008, what will you do that you have always known you had to do? I will start my soup project. THERE - it's on the Internets - it must be true!

Keating! The Musical

Just got back from watching Keating! The Musical and it was brilliant. Very well put together - the portrayals were just razor-sharp (like Keating's tongue, really) and the talent in the show was fantastic. I kinda almost half fell in love with ole Paul there having to remind myself that he wasn't as cute as the lead and certainly probably not as charming. *sigh*

I think I am going to enjoy My Year of Going Out. What a great start... and still to come:

• Meow-Meow (freaky chick that looks like a LOT of fun - thanks, N.!)
• Rufus Wainwright - ooh he's a pretty boy, that one - can't wait, J.!
• DURAN DURAN!!!! (cause I'm hungry like a wolf - RAOR! - thanks, A. and R.!)

That's it so far - would still love to go to k.d lang - we'll see...

But it you get a chance to see Keating! - GO SEE IT! It should be part of every high school history curriculum.

UPDATE!!! Was just googling Rufus Wainwright, who is famous for lots, but mainly his version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" and found this....

I think I've just had my mind made up for me - add her to The List...

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

Oh, doesn't it feel good to get rid of clothes and move stuff around and throw things out...I imagine it would if I could actually do that instead of just write about it.

I have filled a huge bag with goods for passing on/donating - finally parting with kids' clothes that I am absurdly sentimental about. It's a start. It's 3:30pm and I am still in my pyjamas so that gives you a clue as to my overall state of being.

I am trying to look at my house with different eyes, eyes that actually see the junk everywhere instead of skim over it. As my husband says (repeatedly), it's easy to tidy up this house (cause it's tiny) but it's hard to keep it tidy (because it's you-guessed-it).

If I were asked which cartoon character I am, it would have to be Pigpen. I so get him.

My God, we could be twins...

And so this is...

Well, didn't 2007 just pass in a blur? January, February, March... here we go again...

What's in store for 2008? Apparently great things for me. I am supposed to be realising a dream, finally putting into play something that I've wished to do for a long time - I have had so many ideas over the years, I'm a little perplexed at realising which one I'm to realise.

Oh, and Happy New Year to you all (all three of you and you know who you are)!

The Picky Bitch is seeking to be kinder and not so picky this year - think that's possible? According to my horoscope, I'm heading to become the next Mother Teresa (but hopefully with a slightly better wardrobe and moisturiser, God bless her) so I feel compelled to be a nicer person. But I don't feel nicer. I think after turning 40 (oooh - for a whole month now) I'm a little saddened at my own inherent meanness. And I'm a little disheartened that this is how I might be for the rest of my life. How do you train the old brain into not automatically thinking nasty thoughts about people. I know I'm the picky bitch, but I don't want to become the mean, old, nasty bitch.

Resolutions? Still thinking them over.

My friend J. sent this email with the following list of questions that we both agreed would take most of the year to complete, let alone play out - it's a duesie of a list.

Questions for the New Year

1. In 2008 name one person that you will make the attempt to have a stronger relationship with? My husband.
2. In 2008 what is one risk that you promise to take?
3. In 2008 what is one aspect of your personality that you will be willing to change to make yourself more likeable? So many to choose from...hmmm...maybe my acid tongue - try to rein it in a little. And my crappy short temper.
4. In 2008, what is one daily ritual that you can commit to? Waking up every morning would be good. Waking up every morning excited would be better.
5. In 2008, what song could you choose to represent the year you are going to have and will you download that song after reading these words? [What is this - a plug for iTunes?] Not sure about a theme song - just went through all that in thinking about the past - can't think of one for the future.
6. In 2008, who is one civil servant that you will say hello to for the entire year? None of my servants are civil in the least - you just can't get good help these days...not sure about this.
7. In 2008, what is one body of water that you promise yourself you will swim in? The Pacific.
8. In 2008, name one person that you will truly thank who rarely gets thanked.
9. In 2008, what is an artistic experience that you promise to have? More experimental photography.
10. In 2008, what is one argument that you will no longer have?
11. In 2008, what is one thing that you will do to give back to the world or community that you live in?
12. In 2008, what is one thing that you will learn?
13. In 2008, what is one thing you will let go of knowing you don't have the power to change it?
14. In 2008, where will your quiet place be?
15. In 2008, name three people you will surprise with a random gift? Well crap - the only three worth giving a gift to are the three people who read this blog so that would hardly be a surprise now, would it???
16. In 2008, what is one thing that you will teach someone else?
17. In 2008, what is one fear that you will overcome?
18. In 2008, what is one food that you will eat more often? No doubt about it - I vow to try to eat more cake.
19. In 2008, what is something wonderful about your personality that you promise to consciously appreciate? I can be pretty funny now and again.
20. In 2008, what will you do that you have always known you had to do? I will start my soup project. THERE - it's on the Internets - it must be true!

Don't say I didn't warn you! It's a good list of questions, but at time of posting, exhausting to contemplate. Check back for answers in the upcoming millenium, could have it completed by 2015.

[The self indulgence continues] Nadia: The Soundtrack Part Two

[For those who came late, read Part One first - see below]

Track 11: "Deeply Dippy" Right Said Fred
Cripes, this is a goddamn chirpy little song! Picture this (Sicily, 1953 - no, not really) - Juneau, Alaska - 1994 - we were sharing a spare family car with my husband's sister and this tape (yes, tape) was in the player - we were hooked. The whole CD is great but this song in particular just stuck in my mind and heart. Funny and cheerful and when the brass section comes in, it's just wonderful stuff. And that guy had a terrific voice - whatever happened to them? [Gotta love those internets]

Track 12: "Skin Deep" The Stranglers
What is it about this song that I love so much? JJ Burnel's compelling voice? The great lyrics "better watch out for the skin deep" - haven't we all met some of those...? The way the song starts simply and ends on this great build-up? "Golden Brown" almost pipped this one out - it's a more beautiful song and I also love its almost Dave Brubeckian rhythm. Love them both actually.

Track 13: "Constant Craving" k.d. lang
One of my favourite singers. This is sheer gorgeousity. I love love love this whole CD - all the songs fit together so beautifully and this song is the most wonderful climactic end to a great ride about love, lust, disappointment and longing. Apart from Drew Barrymore, this is who I would turn gay for. [Sorry, M]

Track 14: "Mambo Italiano" Rosemary Clooney
What's not to love about an Irish-American sweetheart (who also happens to be the lovely George's aunt) singing about 'fisha baccala' and "if you gonna be a square you ain'ta gonna go-a now-a-where'? Love that Lurch-like harpsichord solo in the middle - what a crazy song. Also reminiscing about our swing-dancing days when we used to listen to the wonderful Libby Hammer and her delightfully young and handsome 16 piece Big Band - Hip Mo' Toast. SO many fantasies about being a singer in front of a band like that. Sigh.

Track 15: "The Chauffeur" Duran Duran, as interpreted by Powderfinger
[See - told you I was sneaky] What do I love more? The perverse flamenco reworking of this song or the fact that it's by Powderfinger? I love that Bernard Fanning has never apologised for being a huge Duran Duran fan. I feel in esteemed company. This song is part of a CD called 'Come Undone' - a collection of Duran Duran songs covered by Australian bands and singers. Lots of interesting song/artist pairings.
I first heard this in Brisbane in my friend A.'s car as she picked me up from the airport two days before going to the Duran Duran concert I had flown across the country for. Two days before sneaking through the security gate with my friend, R., and having our photo taken with Nick Rhodes. Sweet, sweet memories...

Track 16: "Get What You Give" New Radicals
This world IS gonna pull through. I hope.
This was the song I would dance to with my unborn baby. It is such an anthem and I still find it inspiring. I had actually burned a CD with this song on continuous loop thinking that I would listen to it while labouring. When it came time, I could barely ask for a glass of water, let alone articulate that I wanted a CD on the player. Listening to it 15 times in a row may have sent me quietly insane anyway. Still love it. A lot.

Track 17: "Going Gone" The Black Eyed Peas (featuring Jack Johnson)
A new addition to my personal favourites. The Peas are just an amazingly musically accomplished band with the most insightful and relevant lyrics (okay - maybe not "My Humps" but, hey). This is a great song that I think is about realising that all the stuff, all the bling is meaningless. Fun, but meaningless. Pretty obvious, I know, but it bears repeating.
Also - does Jack Johnson have one of the loveliest voices ever? He is honey and maple syrup, silk and clean sheets. Yummy.

Track 18: "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" Scissor Sisters
I defy you to not feel like dancin' to this. I think people in deep coma would be surreptitiously tapping their (mental) toes to this song in defiance of all things medical. Like all great pop tunes - it sticks in your head so that a week later you still have that piano thumping in the old craw. What total fun. What a great world.

Track 19: "Come Undone" Duran Duran, as interpreted by Bachelor Girl
Tricked ya! Yes, another offering from those poster boys for seemingly getting by on a modicum of talent and a bundle of good looks. I think that this song gives great proof that the opposite is true (except the good looking part - they are good looking - esp. Roger - growl!). This is a beautiful song - I love it better than the DD version (hope I don't get burned at the stake for heresy) - Simon Le Bon is whinier than usual in his effort but to give him credit, he did write the lyrics which I think are just wonderful. Bachelor Girl - another band on the whatever happened to...? list - let's check The Google: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_Girl
Is Wikipedia amazing, or what?

Track 20: "Going Home (Theme from "Local Hero")" Mark Knopfler
This is the song that I imagine will get played at my funeral. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it - I plan to have people heaving with great big dramatic weepy sobs... mmm. How sad.
But on a cheerier note - what a great film - definitely in my Top Ten of My All-Time Favourite Flicks. Great soundtrack. Great dialogue. Going home. Indeed.

Nadia: The Soundtrack Part One

As a party favour/bonbonniere for my dear friends who attended my "Last Day of My 30s Party", I put together the millenial version of the 'mixed tape' - remember those? - and burned a CD with twenty of my favourite songs - all which have a connection to some period in my life.

[My dear friend, S. suggested that I should have called it "Nadia: The Musical" which is just so funny, I can't believe I didn't think of it and she did]

So - just to add another chapter to the Nadia: The Narcissistic Years boxed set, here are the sleeve notes for the CD:

TRACK 1: "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" Nancy Sinatra
My parents owned this 45 (I have since stolen it and actually played it on my brand-new $59.95 record player on Saturday night) and I listened to it constantly as a child. I had NO idea what the lyrics really meant - I just thought Nancy sounded a little mean/a little pissed off and little did I know she would have such an influence on the way I speak to my husband most days. Not that he's "messin' where [he] shouldna been messin'". Love the thrumming bassline and who can resist going ape-shit crazy when she tells those boots to "start walkin'!"

TRACK 2: "Let's Stick Together" Bryan Ferry
From the opening one-note sax riff, this song is three-minutes of solid lust. Remember the film clip with Jerry Hall's slutty little animal-printed sashay through the curtain? Even better - here it is, thanks to youtube:



How did she possibly think sexing it up with Mick Jagger was better than sexing it up with Bryan Ferry - was she really that afraid of becoming Mrs Jerry Ferry? This song is embedded in the ole brain as the song my brother and his friends used to actually dance to. Although maybe 'dancing' is too loose an interpretation of their imitation of the almost non-moving bass player. The thin moustache, the white suit, the sexy slim-hipped Bryan - sigh. Bryan Ferry was my first concert experience in 1976 and I still remember going mad when this song came on - not bad for a nine-year old. (Even if I did miss the two-hour episode of the Return of the Bionic Woman - it was worth it!)

TRACK 3: "Don't Stand So Close to Me" The Police
[I'm starting to detect a very strong sexual subtext in the songs so far - for a 40-year-old virgin I was sure a subliminally sexually-aware kid - who knew?]I just knew that this song was WRONG - it was sexy and WRONG - and made me even more aware that my feelings for my Human Biology teacher were sexy and WRONG. Nothing like a good dose of Catholic guilt to suppress those urges. Sting, whatever you think of him - he is a bit of a pretentious dork, really - does certainly have a way with words and the ole vocal chords do make him one of the most distinctive voices of the era. I still love the song even now that I know who Nabokov is - that was a lightbulb moment!

TRACK 4: "Rio" Duran Duran
Aaaahhhh...Rio...like a birthday or a pretty view...two of a billion stars... you really do mean that much to me, you really do. I think my buddies thought the entire CD would be a playlist of Duran Duran songs (and see below for the sneaky way I snuck them in) but no. There was no need to have more because I am confident in my love for them [even Andy, although he is no longer in the band (thank God)]. No need to overdo the sheer exhilaration of basking in the glow of my boys. They are so "me in the 80s", it's not funny. I vowed that I would never look back on my sixteen-year-old self and laugh in derision and I haven't - I can't. I know it sounds ridiculous, but this band really did give me so much. They gave me friends (met half of them in the queue for tickets), they gave me a world view, they gave me lots of laughs and joy. And they'll continue to do so, because come 6 April, I will be able to laugh and remember and rejoice and revisit that 16-year-old-self and honour that girl.

Track 5: "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" The Smiths
So what happens to a girl who enters teenagerhood loving Duran Duran and leaves loving The Smiths? I remember getting about as rebellious as I got by listening to them on my Walkman in class and having the principal talk to me about anger issues sitting on a bench in the school playgound. I thought "I've fooled you all" because I really wasn't all that miserable, I just loved that someone else could articulate it for me. Morrissey is a brilliant lyricist - his words are funny and biting and true - and he gave another gift to me: Oscar Wilde - I ended up reading everything he wrote and even visited his grave in Paris to pay homage - so that's not all bad.

Track 6: "Vagabond Moon" Robyn Dale Ford
Skip forward a few years to being a newlywed living in a cabin in the middle of Alaska. Ford is a Fairbanksan and I heard her as a support act for Don McLean at the Fairbanks Hockey Stadium (and we think this city has no appropriate concert venues - hah!) I love her plucky heart and her plucky banjo. This CD was also lasered into my brain by my Juneau upstairs neighbours Eric and Kate, who played her seemingly non-stop. Robyn Dale Ford fired up an unlikely love for the banjo which Eric then proceeded to destroy over the 18 months by his incessant practicing of said instrument. The banjo, when played by a master, is actually a beautiful thing. The banjo, when played by an enthusiastic beginner, is not.

Track 7: "Where Do the Children Play? Cat Stevens
This song is all wrapped up in my love for the movie "Harold and Maude" which, if you haven't seen it,... well, I don't even know what to say to you...try and see it. That movie formed what I believe to be my true life-view although I don't always live up to it. It's the life-view I wish I could live. And this song is still so remarkably relevant. I also listened to this CD a LOT when I lived in Alaska. I remember listening to this sitting on my crappy couch in my little one-roomed log cabin and thinking to myself "I am really happy".
A true classic. A beautiful song. Go Yusuf.


Track 8: "Galileo" The Indigo Girls
Again, an Alaskan memory. Must have worn out whatever grooves exist on a CD playing this constantly. And again, it's all angst-y and existential-y and confused about life. Our actions do have repercussions and I hope I'm burning off some negative karma for the next one. And I truly, to quote Queen Julie Andrews "somewhere in my youth or childhood [or last life], I must have done something good" to get such a great life this time 'round.

Track 9: "Beggar on the Street of Love" Jenny Morris
Another early marriage song. Love these lyrics of Paul Kelly's. So plaintive and raw and lovely. I love to sing this song to Sam. He doesn't alway love it though.

Track 10: "Want You Back" Take That
Living in Alaska where the headline act was Don McLean or 'Weird Al' Yankovich, I missed the whole Take That phenomenon. When I heard this song, it must have been a few years old. It made me want to leave my husband just so he would stand under my window, holding up a boombox with this song blaring a la Lloyd Dobbler. I love it - it's so freakin' romantic. Great musical climax, beautiful harmonies and how funny that one of those voices is Robbie Williams.

It's the mid-lfe crisis talking, people...

It really is weird knowing almost to a certainty, given life expectancies and statistics and all that, that I actually only have up to half of my life left. I mean, I could be at 9/10s for all I know (hopefully not) but if I live an average lifespan, this is it. It's half over. Which is simultaneously horrifying and exciting.
Horrifying cause it's half over - and exciting because it's only half over. And I've always said that the first twenty years really don't count because you're learning all the basics - how to talk, walk and do algorithms ("You know what I don't understand?"). So adult life, which is really different to the protoplasm years - 0-19 - is really the start of your "life" so essentially, I may only be a third through my adult life, and when I was paying attention in math class, I did learn that a third is less than a half. So that's good news. And my life has seemed really long so far - in fact, to paraphrase Billy Connolly, it's the longest thing I've ever done - so the possibility that there are 40 more years ahead makes me tired.
But that could also be because I was up until 3am and awoken by a chorus of Happy Birthday accompanied by maraccas and bells by my kids at 7:30am. That could have more to do with it.

WHAT is going on?????

Oh my God!!!

Now I know that my horoscope said that I would be entering into a good and lucky phase but this is freakin' RIDICULOUS!!!

This is what I have gotten for my birthday - and this is only 'so far' as it's NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY YET!!!

• A new Prime Minister - really, Australia - you shouldn't have - but I'm really glad you did.
• [I won't dwell on also being able to witness the total humiliation of the opposing party as I have already detailed that in a previous post and I wouldn't want to dwell on also being able to witness the total humiliation of the opposing party because I already talked about witnessing the total humiliation of the opposing party already in another post and I don't want to dwell...]
• Tickets to Keating! The Musical which will be even sweeter because of the thing I didn't want to dwell on earlier...
• A trip to Melbourne/Hobart to rendezvous with my dearest friend, J. to see one of my favourite singers - Rufus Wainwright.
• My Mum is making my favourite cake for my birthday - Chocolate Prune Torte - YUM YUM YUM!!!
• I'm going to have a fun girly party with my best girl buddies.
• I am also going to have breakfast at my favourite beach-side cafe' with my family and even if it rains, it will even be more perfect as I love the rain and hate the heat.
• An offer from my dear friend N., to go to the Festival event of my choice.

BUT - this is the ICING ON THE CAKE - the CHERRY ON TOP - the CREME DE LA CREME - and other food-related superlatives:

DURAN DURAN IS COMING TO TOWN AND I ALREADY HAVE A TICKET!!!

My cup runneth over, it surely does... I can't breathe - it's all too, too much.

Thank God, and the Universe for showering me with such riches - IN ADDITION to the wonderful family and friends I have - I am truly blessed.

O Happy Day!

[CVW - you may not want to read this - you have been warned.]

I am a very happy woman today. I am blessed to live in a country that has a working political process. I've had to suck it up for the last twelve years but today I almost feel patriotic - I know - moi? I was watching John Howard concede last night and actually felt sorry for him for about a split-second but soon reminded myself that he was hoisted by his own petard - his megalomania got him in that situation - he really did have every chance to bow out gracefully but refused to. So hoist away!

And I really don't thank him for his 33 years of service, particularly the last twelve. I think he would have been terrific if he'd lived his political life in the 40s and 50s. He was perfectly suited in personality to a nation at war, a nation who clung to the White Australia policy, a nation living in fear. When I think of how he has been complicit in dividing this nation, it still angers me at all the time we've wasted shrinking in meanness instead of thriving with compassion.

Here's a little review of his 'finer' moments:

• Refusing to say 'sorry'
• The Children Overboard fiasco
• Sabotaging the referendum on the Republic
• Refusing to ratify Kyoto
• Getting us into Iraq and lying about WMDs
• Making people believe that the Federal Government controls interest rates
• WorkChoices
• Welfare to Work
• Backing the Gunns Pulp Mill (and yes, I do realise that Labor did also but I think things might change now that The Greens did so well for them - go, Bob Brown!)
• UPDATE - just remembered this one. The GST. And not just the GST but the GST on books. And not just the GST on books but the GST on educational texts. There is no justification for a tax on education. And the Democrats' karma bit them in the arse too.

Yep - back to not feeling sorry for him at all. Or his toadying sidekick, Smithers. What a pair - and we're rid of both of them - I haven't felt this happy since Karl Rove resigned. The next bit of good news would be that Malcolm Turnbull becomes Leader of the Opposition. We might actually get some bipartisan movement on climate change - and have a good chance of getting the Republic back on the agenda - shaking off the mantle of Mother England, once and for all.

O Happy Day, indeed!

I'm about to lose control and I think I like it...

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

I bought my new 2008 Diary and with it a WHOLE NEW LIFE!

It looks as though turning 40 will see me lose all sense of financial reason. Some may think this has already happened - and they'd be right.

I've just booked tickets for two, count 'em, TWO concerts/shows next year. Going to see the 'hilarious smash-hit comedy'* KEATING! in January (the '!' is part of the title and I had nothing to do with it) and RUFUS WAINWRIGHT in February. I LOVE him and his sweet little gay ways. But the BEST thing is that I will be seeing Rufus in a city that is not this one- yes! INTERSTATE TRAVEL!!! Yay!

Also thinking about purchasing tickets for my favourite lesbian who is coming to this city in April but thought I might do some food-shopping first, pay the electricity bill and whatnot. Along with the extortionate school fees I will now be paying, I may need to just say a big "Steady, Thunder..." to my own sweet self.

OH - WHAT THE HELL! Let me get that credit card....

OH! And I may sign up for a phone plan that includes 12 free movie tickets so my plans of being courted by my girlfriends may have to wait for 2009! Well - you know they say 'the greatest love of all...'

*according to someone

What a difference a letter makes...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What I want for my birthday...

I'm having a Girls Only Party to celebrate my 40th Birthday and what I really really want for my birthday is to be courted by my girlfriends. At the party, I will have a 2008 Diary that I want my buddies to start filling in with our 'dates' throughout the year.
I want to be wined and dined and taken to breakfast, lunch and dinner. Taken to the movies, the theatre and museums. I've realised that I don't really need or want any more 'stuff' but what I do want is to enter into the next decade knowing that I will have time with the friends that I've loved, some for almost 40 years, some for only a few.
So that's what I want for my birthday. Your undivided attention. Time with you...and possibly new knickers - the knickers I have are TERRIBLE. I still have knickers from being pregnant - real Nanna/Partial-Eclipse-of-the-Sun-When-They're-Hung-Out knickers.

So time.

And underpants.

That's it.

My Man Bill

President Bill Clinton on The Daily Show - the full uncut interview. Jon and Bill - aaahhhh...like a song in my heart. Two of my favourite men. Buy Clinton's book Giving - How Each of Us Can Change the World - it will make you happy...

Anita Roddick

Anita Roddick died this week at age 64 of a brain haemorrhage.

I felt really saddened by this news. I met her at a public lecture and booksigning many years ago and she had that typical famous person's inability to look you in the eyes (I know a haven't met a lot of famous people but the ones I have met all exhibit this - maybe they think they'd turn to stone or something). Her energy was palpable. She was a 4'10" vortex. Very magnetic.

She ate my food (I catered the event). She signed my book "To Nadia. The last one!! Yea!! Anita Roddick" She was referring to me being last in the queue. She had signed hundreds of books by then - the lecture was one of the most successful we'd staged.

There is a photo of the bookshop staff and Anita somewhere. She was a wee lady who took up all the space in the room.

She was principled and strong. And had totally mad hair. I remembered thinking -bitchily - that she could have used some of her own product.

Not only will I miss her, I think the planet will in some way mourn. She was definitely on its side and it needs all the allies it can get these days.

Update on the Green Challenge...

Last week we had a solar hot water heating system installed - that was one of the things that I had on my list of many moons ago. And bloody hell - the water's frickin' HOT. We have a gas booster so I'll be really curious as to how the gas bill will drop over coming months. It's so pretty sitting up there on our silver roof. I love it.

Man - do I love me some Jon Stewart...

This is the BEST news I have heard in, oooh, let me think - about almost eight years now...

Click here for a laugh and break out the champagne.

We won't miss you, Turd Blossom.