Al and The Picky Bitch

Once upon a time there was a girl named Picky who lived in a far away land... She dreamed about ex-Vice Presidents on a semi-regular basis and was very excited to hear that one was coming to her fair city - and best of all, that it was her favourite ex-VP, Albert Gore Jr. When she came to think about it, she actually realised that she had no other favourite ex-Vice Presidents other than him as all the others were either crooks, illiterates or Republicans - and then when she thought about it some more, she realised that they were actually all of those three things pretty much in every case - but back to the story...

Al was coming to speak to her city about a terrible thing called "global warming". Picky has heard about this wretched phenomenon (and had read the book and seen the movie) but knew in her heart that she had to see her sweet ex-VP in person to get the full picture - actually, it was really more of a case of her wanting to exchange a bit of that dreaded CO2 with him - talk about carbon emissions! - but 15 years of marriage to her other sweet prince was gonna kinda sorta put the brakes on that fantasy.

The day arrived for the Climate Change Ball. What to wear? Luckily her fairy godmother, LaVisa (who knew how to take her where she wanted to be), suggested with a little mind-wallet merge trick that she does, to point Picky to the fabled Myer where she found a kicky little number with her name on it (and 30% off just for good measure). Add to the ensemble the snappy shoes referred to in previous posts and Picky was all set for the Ball.

She arrived in a daze, "Where was her VP?" Oh yes, there he was, making sure his Apple was in good working order. Oh how handsome he looked. Yes - he'd gotten a little chunky. And a little grey at the temples. And Picky really didn't understand what it was about Al that made her heart race - it was really that he made her brain race. She loved a smart guy - but not a smart ass. Yes, Picky's Other Sweet Prince was there as well (looking very snazzy in an outfit supplied by his fairy godmother aka Amexia) - he liked smart guys as well. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Then it was time to be seated and listen to boring old white men from evil organisations and corporations talk crap about how they were leading the way in creating, sorry, combatting global warming. And then much to Picky's surprise, the leader of her fair land (state, definitely not country) spoke and impressed upon Picky with his intellect, humour and not to forget - his damn sexy voice. Picky thought, Hmmm - he is a hottie... not in the same league as Al - could be a good substitute though, once Al left town, for her weird politico fantasies.

It was then almost time for the ex-VP to address the masses. But not before a bathroom stop. Was it fate or kismet (or are they the same thing?) that Al had to pass by Picky's table in order to perform his ablutions? Picky thought that it might be further intervention of her fairy godmother, this time in the guise of her friend Boss Lady, who grabbing Al's arm, told the stunned personage that he just had to meet his greatest fan, something that certainly he had never heard before. And then, and then...the first words that Al spoke to Picky, words she would never forget:

"Lovely dress."

"LOVELY DRESS"

HE LIKED MY DRESS! HE LIKED MY DRESS! HE LIKED MY DRESS! HE LIKED MY DRESS!

And then, Picky had her photo taken with Al (and her Sweet Prince) - and all was well.

They all lived happily ever after. Or at least until CO2 emissions hit 600ppm.