Happy Birthday Dad

Yes, I know. I do go on about my Dad a bit. For someone who's been dead for almost 11 years now, he still tends to occupy my thoughts a lot. He is my Dad, after all. So I'm not really apologising but even when there's been a bit of a 'Picky Bitch' drought, it's usually my Dad who'll get me posting again.

So today would have been my Dad's 78th birthday. Wow. Born in 1933. A long time ago although to my rapidly ageing self, 78 isn't that old. My Mum has a friend who just turned 96 and she's pretty amazing - still making cakes and gnocchi by the truckload.

I have to wonder what kind of 78-year-old my Dad would have been. Would he just look the same but wrinklier and have whiter hair? As he already had white hair at 67 I suppose it couldn't have gotten much whiter so maybe that's a dumb thought.

If he hadn't died of cancer, would he have died of something else by now? His heart wasn't good. Would I be in the fresh throes of grief, mourning my father for having just died from a heart attack? Would my children be devastated at losing their Nonno, having known him for only a few short years instead of being oblivious not knowing him at all? What would have been better, really? I was 25 before losing the first of my significant relatives. My kids would have been less than 10.

Of course, he might not have died of something else in the meantime. He might have been still alive, pottering around the house, driving my mother nuts. I wonder how patient he would have been with this noisy mess of kids.

But he died at 67 and he's gone and my kids don't know him that well. I still remember though. And I still love him and I still miss him and I will forever and ever and ever.

And somewhere as I remember my Dad on the 78th anniversary of his birth, somewhere in Arizona is a family mourning the loss of their nine year old daughter. Their daughter, only two days older than mine. I am so sorry for their terrible loss. I wish she would have lived to 67. I wish she would have lived to 78. I wish she would have lived.