I'm feeling crappy today - it's hot and humid, nobody could sleep in our house last night so we were all wandering around like zombies bumping into each other as we needed more water and to be comforted from bad dreams. I think that in my mind I'm disasterating - if I'm pissing and moaning about the first really hot day of the summer, what's it going to be like when it's 40degrees for weeks on end.
Nice, huh?
It's also the ninth anniversary of my Dad's death and this year, I'm more annoyed than anything. Annoyed that after nine years, there is no excuse for bringing it up and wanting some sympathy - that's all done with. It's a limbo year - not quite ten, too far past five. But it still really sucks and I still really miss him and I still want to talk about him but feel stupid for wanting to. I can get all excited about next year - the BIG TEN - you have an excuse for telling people, "My Dad died TEN YEARS AGO! Can you believe it's been TEN YEARS?" And you get the sympathy and the hugs and there is some allowance for bringing it up because it's TEN YEARS - a nice, neat number. People wouldn't look at you funny for mentioning that.
But nine? Nine is just nine.
I miss you Dad. And you're not coming back. And it still hurts. And I still love you. And I miss you more today than I did nine years ago when it was so raw and painful.
I want to think about you and miss you on all your anniversaries - the 11th, the 17th, the 23rd, the 37th. All those awkward numbers.
Until someone starts mourning me.
02 February 2009
21 January 2009
a brand new day
We stayed up to watch the Inauguration last night into the wee hours - and thank you J., for all the texts and all the tears - it got a little lonely there at 2am, with S. and I having our little party for two.
It's a lovely feeling to have intellect win over indolence, brains over braindeadedness (if that's not a word, it should be), and other alliterative phrases that I'm too tired to think of right now (a little of that braindeadedness is making itself felt in my noggin today).
So the burning question is not what you can do for your country, but - what the hell is Jon Stewart going to talk about now? Unless we get another Sarah Palin - sweet Jesus, NO! - what has he got to work with?? Surely, I mean, surely he is not going to pick on Obama. I may have to not love him as much if he does that.
[Note to Jon: I will always love you.]
Oh what bittersweet times these are when the Republicans have their tails between their legs and there is nothing to bitch about. I'm hoping for a very uneventful administration so that some hard work can be done and people can pull their heads out of their asses and realise the American Dream needs a little tweaking.
So what was my favourite bit of the whole shebang? Apart from Obama's beautifully stunning oratory? It had to be this guy:
Some are finding the ending of this offensive but criminy, can't we all just be mellow (not just the 'yellows')?
*cringe*
I thought it was a beautiful benediction and a call for tolerance.
With a few racial stereotypes thrown in for 'colour' (see what I did there?).
It's a lovely feeling to have intellect win over indolence, brains over braindeadedness (if that's not a word, it should be), and other alliterative phrases that I'm too tired to think of right now (a little of that braindeadedness is making itself felt in my noggin today).
So the burning question is not what you can do for your country, but - what the hell is Jon Stewart going to talk about now? Unless we get another Sarah Palin - sweet Jesus, NO! - what has he got to work with?? Surely, I mean, surely he is not going to pick on Obama. I may have to not love him as much if he does that.
[Note to Jon: I will always love you.]
Oh what bittersweet times these are when the Republicans have their tails between their legs and there is nothing to bitch about. I'm hoping for a very uneventful administration so that some hard work can be done and people can pull their heads out of their asses and realise the American Dream needs a little tweaking.
So what was my favourite bit of the whole shebang? Apart from Obama's beautifully stunning oratory? It had to be this guy:
Some are finding the ending of this offensive but criminy, can't we all just be mellow (not just the 'yellows')?
*cringe*
I thought it was a beautiful benediction and a call for tolerance.
With a few racial stereotypes thrown in for 'colour' (see what I did there?).
19 January 2009
It's OVER!!!! - UPDATE - I know what a SHAMWOW is now!!!
This is wonderful -
"This man is charisma, piled on top of gorgeous, wrapped in a sex tortilla and served with two scoops of 'raorrrrrr'!" GO SAMANTHA BEE!!!
...and this is hilarious....roll on tomorrow!
"Here's what I like about monkeys?..."
UPDATE: I just found out what a ShamWow is by pure chance (thanks, StumbleUpon!).
Check it out:
He sells something else called a SLAP CHOP - Hilarious!
"This man is charisma, piled on top of gorgeous, wrapped in a sex tortilla and served with two scoops of 'raorrrrrr'!" GO SAMANTHA BEE!!!
...and this is hilarious....roll on tomorrow!
"Here's what I like about monkeys?..."
UPDATE: I just found out what a ShamWow is by pure chance (thanks, StumbleUpon!).
Check it out:
He sells something else called a SLAP CHOP - Hilarious!
06 January 2009
Happy 2009...
To the three people who read this blog... Happy New Year and thanks for your continued love and friendship.
Been having a lot of fun on Facebook lately and am feeling slightly guilty for giving it so much time when my sweet little PB page is so neglected.
Facebook is phenomenal. I really think it's an amazing tool for reconnection. And a lot of crap-sharing. Do people really need to know that I think it's ridiculous that hot cross buns are already on the shelves of the grocery store???
The funny thing is that there are total strangers wanting to join the group I created "Hot Cross Buns should be sold on Good Friday only". What makes people want to join a group like that? What makes people want to let everyone else know that they lost their shoes/are doing the ironing/are going skiiing/baked a pie...? (I'd want to know who baked a pie as long as I lived close enough to get to eat it).
So what happened in 2008? Apart from 'growing up'?
Been having a lot of fun on Facebook lately and am feeling slightly guilty for giving it so much time when my sweet little PB page is so neglected.
Facebook is phenomenal. I really think it's an amazing tool for reconnection. And a lot of crap-sharing. Do people really need to know that I think it's ridiculous that hot cross buns are already on the shelves of the grocery store???
The funny thing is that there are total strangers wanting to join the group I created "Hot Cross Buns should be sold on Good Friday only". What makes people want to join a group like that? What makes people want to let everyone else know that they lost their shoes/are doing the ironing/are going skiiing/baked a pie...? (I'd want to know who baked a pie as long as I lived close enough to get to eat it).
So what happened in 2008? Apart from 'growing up'?
- I visited my beautiful friend J., in Hobart, easily my most favourite place in Australia.
- Saw Rufus TWICE
- Went into marriage therapy
- Went on my first romantic holiday with my husband (see 'marriage therapy')
- Taught myself how to film and edit a short movie
- Cried a lot
- Laughed some
- Reconnected with old friends
- Healed some old wounds
- Picked the scabs off a lot of others to discover they were nice and shiny with scars and not still bleedy (gross, but accurate analogy)
- Said good-bye to my brother's former life formally and welcomed his new one by baking lots of delicious cupcakes with my wonderful friend, C.
- Won a team award at work
- Won an individual award at work
- Made people laugh
- Tried to keep breathing
Goals for 2009:
- To be a better friend to my husband
- To be a better friend to my kids - have more 'Dad' time with them instead of just 'Angry Mum' moments
- To really figure out if I want to move my family to Portland
- To try and get a handle on my financial karma
- To keep staying 'grown up'
That's it for now.
Love yas all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)