How I've been wasting my time...

So, it's been over two years since writing in this blog. I think that's a record, even for my sweet, slack self...

I read over some of the posts today, reminiscing over stuff and the overriding thought I had, apart from, "I have no memory of writing that whatsoever!" was, "DAMN! I am a funny bitch."

True fact.

So, to try and kickstart The Picky Bitch (for about the eleventy billionth time - read back and practically every second blog post starts with an apology) I put it out to the Universe (well... Facebook) and asked my peeps what I should write about.  I've never really done that before and now I know why, as the suggestions included "euthanasia" and "cotecchino" (google it, would ya?). There was an idea to revisit myself in my early 20s - "Nadia: The Newlywed Years", which I really liked, as well as quite a few suggestions around food (which makes me realise I have the right friends).

But the one that struck me most (not that I won't get back to the others as I am just jonesing for a good story about Italian sausage - thank you, A.) was from my dear friend, J.

"How about starting with a story about why you stopped and took so long to get started again?" 

Why, indeed.

Now, truth be told, I was never a faithful blogger.  I could never keep a diary. I can't even floss for five consecutive days without 'taking a break'. I know there's that thing around creating a habit by doing something for 28 days in a row. That is just so foreign a concept to me. TWENTY-EIGHT DAYS - that's like, a FEBruary of doing stuff and everyone knows, it's just too HOT in February to do ANYthing.

So why, oh WHY, have I been depriving my audience (to date, about three people, and I thank you for your past patronage) of my gift? It's not really that I didn't have the time but it's certainly that I didn't have the inclination. I just kinda lost it.

So what have I been doing instead? I think you know. I KNOW you know.

Fucking Facebook.

Now, I LOVE Facebook.  I really, really do. But DAMN, it takes up a lot of my brainspace.

And not only Facebook, but FACEBOOK ON AN iPAD.

So prior to 2011, I used to have to crank up the old laptop and log in and blah, blah...then I got an iPhone and I no longer had to post using the laptop. I mean, I was going BLIND, but I was connected.

Then along came the iPad and my life was essentially over.

Goodbye blindness. Hello absolute-time-waster-that-I-can-grab-day-or-night-upon-which-I-can-tippy-tap-incredibly-hilarious-status-updates (do I lie?)...

And not only Facebook, but Angry Birds and four email accounts and Draw Something and iBooks and Kindle and Zinio and Dragonvale (OMG- I forgot totally about Dragonvale - my dragons must be DEAD by now!) and Martha and Oprah and The New Yorker (yes, I only get it for the cartoons...) and Happy Place and freaking StumbleUpon, the most evil of them all.

What's another one? Watching TV on my laptop. I somehow think this is more virtuous (apart from that whole pirating thing) way of watching television shows because I don't have to sit through the adverts. GOD FORBID! So what do I do? Watch TV responsibly? No - I BINGE WATCH. Over this past week or so I watched the ENTIRE FIRST SEASON OF "CHICAGO FIRE". That's 23 times 40 minutes of show. That's like watching a FULL DAY of television [ more of less - someone get a calculator]. When you think about it it doesn't seem that long. But I did the same with "Happy Endings" THREE SEASONS! "Go On" (actually a pretty good show) and two seasons of "The Walking Dead" which should be renamed, "Someone Eat Those Stupid People Because I Am Sick To Death of This Ridiculous Soap Opera With Some Scary Bits And I'm Not Talking About The Zombies".

Can I blame reading books? Not really. Can I blame all that volunteer work I do? Nope. Can I blame all that hands-on parenting? Negatory.

*sigh*

But Facebook is the true time-sapper.  And it's not even that I'm particularly unhappy about the time that I have, and will, spend on Facebook. I get to chat to amazing friends and some almost total strangers that I've come to love as friends (you know who you are) and that's great. I think it's just that I've carved out no time to do the other things I love.

So I've become the writer who doesn't write, the baker who doesn't bake, the cleaner who doesn't clean (HA!  I just chucked that in there to see if you're still paying attention...), the reader who doesn't read,  the mother who doesn't mother as well as she should and generally the person who thinks that posting to Facebook is enough. That her iPad is enough. That stumbling upon life is enough.

Bah!

This Picky Bitch knows it's not. So she's back...